The Drug War

The U.S./Mexico drug war has been a constant battle and never seems to subside. There are two components to this problem: the buyer and seller. The buyer is here in America and the seller is drug cartels in Mexico. I feel this problem has been handled completely wrong. America blames Mexico and Mexico blames America. The finger pointing has gotten nowhere and the problem has only increased.
    America claims that Mexico brings in illegal immigrant that possess drugs. They claim them to be the problem, and has fueled this hatred against Mexican immigrants. The thing is in order for these people to migrate to the United States they have to go through coyotes, who are men that help them. Many times these men are members of a certain cartel. They have heartless methods and it is all business to them. They tell these people to take their drugs over for them, or they will punish them. These good people just trying to make a life for themselves have no choice but to do this, and when caught, they are blamed. So American media drills it into society to have undocumented migrants associated with drugs. The problem is not immigration, but the cartels themselves. These cartels have much power and do anything in their power to get what they want. They spread violence like a plague and send to wrong message for the normal people. Yet America blames these normal people exploited by these cartels as the problem. They have it all wrong and do not see that they help the problem.
     America blames Mexico and many other Latin American countries for their drug problem. America has the most drug users here more than any other country. Even in Mexico and Colombia where they are made, people do not use as much drugs here. People say they used drugs to escape their hard lives, yet people there have much harder lives. That says that something here in America is not being done right to raise people to stay away from drug use. Since there is such a demand for drugs here, there needs to be a supply. It is economics and cocaine is native to Latin America. For these people there who live tough and have very limited options, they go with whatever they can to survive. These drug cartels know that and recruit many people, offering them a good life. Then, all the guns used by these cartels are actually from America. Guns are illegal in Mexico, so America keeps these cartels in power by fueling there firepower. How are you going to complain about a weed problem, when you give it water? It does not make sense to me. It is all money-based and they use lies and deception to keep people in check.
     America has the power to do many things yet feel it is not necessary until it is a real problem. They spend more money fixing problems, where they could prevent them. They could offer opportunities in these countries so drug trafficking is not their only option. They could also do more to prevent drug use here if they see they problem is that bad. They have the diagnostic of the problem all wrong and use it to blame illegal immigrants for something they have no control over. It hurts me to hear that my people are exploited by not only their own people, but a country that is immigrant based. I feel if they really wanted the problem gone, they would have found ways to suppress it, yet I only see it getting worse.

Tradition can't live in a country of flash.

     It's funny how the most popular sport in the world, soccer, is one of the least popular here in the United States. Being a universal sport, here in America the people do not really follow it to the extent that other countries do. In Europe and Latin America, people live by soccer and are true fans who actually bleed for their team. Here in America, it seems the people want flashy sports and want instant gratification. They say soccer is boring because they rarely score and it gets repetitive. They rather watch football or basketball, the most popular here in America. Though I enjoy these sports as well, I've never felt the passion for it as I have soccer. Something about soccer makes me feel part of something that has a cause behind it. When World Cup comes around, I actually take time out of what I am doing to watch a game. I won't do it for any other sport and there are many others here that feel like me. The funny thing is the people that enjoy soccer are the most passionate of all fans and see soccer as a way of life. I don't see how that could be unpopular here. It seems to be all flash and trends we follow. For example, in soccer I cheer for Mexico because that is my heritage. Every Mexico game I see, I am swelled with pride of who I am and am devastated when we lose. I also watch football and am a raider fan, but I don't feel the connection to the team like I do with soccer.
     The funny thing about fans here is that many choose teams on things such as cool uniforms. Many people like the Lakers just because they have Kobe Bryant and are good, yet they never been to Los Angeles. I see that a lot here in America and I feel a traditional sport like soccer gets left in the shadows.It is a wonderful sport I wish we embraced more. There is nothing more passionate and even people here do not even cheer for the American team. They pay attention to Europe where it is a big thing and care less on their National team. Maybe it is the lack of passion in America. Sometimes I wish it was how it used to be in the old days where people lived with passion, and weren't sucked in to flash and marketing. That is all sports seem to be today.

My enemy is my inner me.

       It is crazy that our moods have such a huge impact on our life. At times I feel happy, at times I feel sad. There are times I am on top of the world and times I feel at the bottom of the totem pole. Sometimes I am just fine, sometimes I feel refined, and times I feel undefined. This is what it is to deal with Bi-Polar syndrome.
      It was junior year in high school I noticed I felt something was wrong with me psychologically. I could be going through my day just fine and within seconds I would sink into a depressive state. I wanted to escape where I was and go into complete solitude. Then, given some time, I would feel just fine. Then somedays I would feel extremely eccentric and had an incredible amount of energy. I would speak so fast that my thoughts would race out faster than my mouth was able to project them out. It was hard for me to understand why somedays I woke up feeling I could do anything, and somedays I felt like I couldn't do anything at all. My friends and family found me unpredictable and knew I had something wrong with me. My mom's first assumption was that I was on drugs. In my manic episodes she would look at me as if I was someone she didn't even know. The ironic thing is at the time I didn't even know who I was. On a sport physical I mentioned to a doctor how I had mood swings and if he could offer any type of explanation. He had no answer but then insisted I speak to a psychiatrist. As much as I hated the fact that I was to go to a psychiatrist, my mother made me go insisting it is for my own good. So I went against my own will, and glad I did because in doing so he diagnosed me as Bi-Polar Type 2. My first thoughts were that I was schizophrenic and cursed with this burden. I didn't want to tell anyone afraid that they would think of me as some mentally unstable person. Though I had my mood swings, I was the same person I have always been.
          I was prescribed a drug called Lithium to balance out my moods and I completely hated it. Though it helped keep me stable while I was on it, when I wasn't I felt even more depressed than ever. On top of that it made me feel like a zombie void of emotion. Plus, I was playing soccer at the time and it really had a negative effect on my performance. I felt slowed down and since it would thin my blood, I would bleed out my nose when I exerted myself. I completely hated taking the drug, so after 2 months I discontinued taking it. I would rather deal with it myself than go through life dependent on a drug that me to an emotionless body.
         I have dealt with disorder since high school and I kind of think of it as a gift and curse. There are three phases of it. The manic phase is when I am very energetic, upbeat, and overly excited. Then I have my neutral phase where I am normal like everyone else. The final phase is the depressive state, which is the one I despise most. It causes me to sink into a state of paranoia and sadness. Through experiences I have found ways to control it naturally. I have noticed that when I am not working, playing a sport, reading, drawing, or anything productive is when I get my mood swings. So it forces me to stay busy and productive in a good way. It has me doing things in order to prevent me from getting depressed.
       I would say the hardest part is trying to have someone understand where I am coming from. People find it hard to understand how I can switch from happy to sad quite rapidly. Especially when I was involved in a relationship, it was much harder to make her understand since she thought it was her fault. I felt bad that she felt burdened by it too. Also, the hard part is letting people know because they assume that being bipolar makes you crazy which is not the case. I am just like everyone, except I switch moods involuntarily. I used to keep it a secret, but I feel it is not anything to hide and is why I write about it. It actually feels good writing about it because I am reflecting myself, and helps me understand me a little better.

Wrong Impressions.

    In a society so focused upon image and physical characteristics, it seems we proceed to judge people on how they look before they get to know them. I constantly hear people say "That person looks so trashy" or "Damn, that guy looks like he will rob someone". I can not understand why we think we know what a person is about, when we know nothing about them. In this era, we thrive off stereotypes and image too much and especially here in Los Angeles you get people who think they are better than someone because o what they wear or car they drive. People do not even seek a relationship with a person who has a good personality and honest soul but look for "attractive" people who seem to always have a nasty chip on their shoulder.
       I feel I am always misjudged by my image before people even get to know me. I know the person that I am and when I hear what people thought about me before they spoken to me baffles me. People always think I am some wanna be cholo who can not articulate. I know I am far from that and it seems people look at me like I am a bad person, yet they know nothing of me. I may be Mexican and have short hair but I do not have a short heart. Many times people do not attempt to approach me on their hunch that I am mean and some "macho" man. The funny part is I am the opposite. I know I am a very kind person with a big heart and good qualities. Just because I dress a certain way and have a certain look, does not have an impact on my personality. Then, people tell me to clean up my image to prevent this. The way I see it is instead of me changing how look, how about you change how you think about people before knowing them.
      I actually find it funny sometimes and play with it. Many times people do not know that I am educated and for them to hear me talk intellectually shocks them. People never believe that I am an avid reader and seeker of knowledge. They think I am shallow and I am not at all. When people get to know me, I laugh at how they seemed shocked to learn certain aspects of me. One instance I was pulled over by a police officer in Irvine when I was on my way to work. I drive a Honda Civic to top off my stereotype and it was filled with three other mexicans so of course they would take a second look. I was working an event there and in front of my boss was pulled over by the police. He asked me my business here, where I am from, have I ever been arrested, etc. For a laugh, I used big words and had a professional mannerism about me so it made him look stupid. He found it weird for me to not have a warrant or any tattoos. This happens to me constantly but it feels good to prove people wrong. I will never change my image, but maybe people can change their train of thought.

Horrible music on the radio.

                        I don't know if I may be maturing or growing out of a phase but I feel like every year the quality of music on the radio continues to decline. As a fan of hip-hop, R&B, and rock, every time I hear the radio it seems the music continues to sway in a more materialistic and fake direction. At work I am driving for six hours making deliveries and I have to listen to the radio since there is no CD player. I hear the same song with different rhythms. I actually get annoyed at certain songs I hear due to the crappy subject matter and excessive rotation. The song "toot it and boot it" plays at least 12 times in the 6 hours of work and I feel the radios do not try to play any real music anymore. Everything you hear has the same reoccurring theme of sex, alcohol, clubbing and degradation. Everything has become so sugar-coated and superficial, causing many feeble minds to follow this trend. I feel it causes the youth to try and emulate what they hear, which is mainly negativity. One thing that baffles me is these girls saying how they hate to be disrespected yet in the clubs they are screaming lyrics that degrade women. I think it is hypocritical and when something is supported no one thinks it is wrong. I feel the new direction of media is going to a fake, ugly direction.
                    Not only is the subject matter bad, but also the production value of the music. No longer do people make music with real instruments but through computer programs. I'm not saying all it is bad because I do listen to some of it, but the artists who make real music like groups such as The Roots never get put in rotation on the radio. The quality of the music is declining, and a hit songs only needs to be catchy with punch lines, yet has no lasting value. The songs are good for the year or two they are popular and after they are forgotten. It is just a quick radio hit and the artist does not do it for the music but to reap the benefits.
                  I am not saying what they play is all bad, yet they will only play certain types of music. There is no diversity in the music. Like I said earlier, all you hear is the same reoccurring themes. You do need you superficial songs to make dance music and what not, but I feel they should not stick to one theme. They should play conscious music too. The music with the positive messages seems to stay underground and it will never be heard by the mainstream. It almost seems like the better the song the less it is played. People speak of this industry called "The Illuminati" which control the music to control the minds of the listeners. They make the people buy the alcohol and party excessively to keep them dumb. I believe that and feel being smart is not important any more but being "cool" is.